Where Do You Exist?

For most of my life I existed in the turbulent storms: family deaths, divorce, alcoholic loved ones, verbal abuse, disability, discrimination…
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There were moments amidst the pain that a glimmer of hope entered my heart allowing in possibilities: new friendships, a change of career, graduate school…

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I started to heal. I gardened and walked and read. I could not see the light yet, but I knew it existed.

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I took up meditation and reveled in the colors erupting amidst the clouds that hid my pain.
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Life shifted from one dense mass of angst. Layers appeared. At first I was afraid. The apex of the mass seemed to be all there was. The pain was intense. But the inner knowing said go deeper.
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I trembled at the unknowing.

Pain was not my friend or lover. But it was familiar and I was safe in its constancy. As fear moved to the far horizon, pain rumbled and taunted with comforting enticements of sameness…

Prisms of light appeared illuminating the path to joy.
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The fear lifted from my being. I surrendered and plunged into the unknowing to find as the layers were released my spirit could finally soar.

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Lunacy sometimes appears tempting me to follow in its cyclic pursuit of the ego…

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Wisps of doubt niggle at my soul. Tempting – always — tempting to fall into the abyss of pain and despair.
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But this moment – I choose clarity and an unencumbered path — free to feel joy and peace and love.

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Life is a blank canvas. I hope you paint your canvas with Love and joy and peace.

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