Where Do You Exist?

For most of my life I existed in the turbulent storms: family deaths, divorce, alcoholic loved ones, verbal abuse, disability, discrimination…

There were moments amidst the pain that a glimmer of hope entered my heart allowing in possibilities: new friendships, a change of career, graduate school…


I started to heal. I gardened and walked and read. I could not see the light yet, but I knew it existed.


I took up meditation and reveled in the colors erupting amidst the clouds that hid my pain.

Life shifted from one dense mass of angst. Layers appeared. At first I was afraid. The apex of the mass seemed to be all there was. The pain was intense. But the inner knowing said go deeper.

I trembled at the unknowing.

Pain was not my friend or lover. But it was familiar and I was safe in its constancy. As fear moved to the far horizon, pain rumbled and taunted with comforting enticements of sameness…

Prisms of light appeared illuminating the path to joy.

The fear lifted from my being. I surrendered and plunged into the unknowing to find as the layers were released my spirit could finally soar.


Lunacy sometimes appears tempting me to follow in its cyclic pursuit of the ego…


Wisps of doubt niggle at my soul. Tempting – always — tempting to fall into the abyss of pain and despair.

But this moment – I choose clarity and an unencumbered path — free to feel joy and peace and love.


Life is a blank canvas. I hope you paint your canvas with Love and joy and peace.

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