I just had one of those wow moments while reading a post from Silver Lining Mama. That “aha” moment. How many issues might be fixed by just simply asking that one question. Five little words. And my minds starts wandering and I start wondering, if it could be that simple…
Do you need a hug? Or: Do you want a hug?
It works wonder with the kids, as Jan points out in her post. So I wonder. I wonder if it would work between adults too.
We live in such a hectic and busy world. People are stressed out and worried. Now imagine you walk up to them and simply as “do you need a hug?” I bet most of them actually need a hug. And I bet most of them would feel so much better after the hug.
And then my mind starts playing with the idea of solving conflicts… Imagine if those leaders instead of arguing would suddenly stop, breathe, think and then ask, if the other one needs a hug. I know, I know… I’m shaking my head slightly here too, don’t worry. But still… Imagine, suddenly conflicts would be solved by something as simply as a hug.
No more weapons, no more fights, no more wars… no more scared people, no more injured or killed civilians, no more children crying over the loss of their parents or parents over the loss of their children.
Bar fights? Ask, if the other one needs a hug instead of hitting each other with beer bottles or punching the other one in the face. I know, I know… that would probably trigger that punch… but still. Imagine it would work! No more victims of one hit punches. No more bottles over heads, no more broken noses or worse. Solved by a hug.
I know it sounds like a pipe-dream. But why not. In most cases we can probably not solve the situation with a simple hug. Maybe we could but I guess nobody would admit that a hug would be the only thing they really crave. On the other hand there are so many situation where a simple hug could make a huge difference. On the small scale. In your family, with your friends and maybe even with your co-workers.
Maybe sometimes it would be the better solution to simply stop, breathe and ask “do you need a hug” instead of start an argument. So next time when you feel that you steam up, stop and breathe and then either ask if your opponent would like to get a hug or even go one step further and admit, that you would love to be hugged.