In her own words…my daughter’s story.

It was a beautiful sunny day in my safe, suburban neighborhood.  I was a freshman in high school.  It was lunch time and I was with a large group of kids, across the street from our high school.  We were hanging out, like we always did, behind the restaurant, next to a busy 7-11.  We were all enjoying the beautiful weather, laughing and talking, when one of the boys whispered to another one and suddenly I was thrown into the air by three boys.   Two of them grabbed my arms and the third one, the instigator, grabbed my legs.  I had known these boys since first grade so I laughed and asked them to put me down, thinking they were playing around.   But I was wrong.  They weren’t playing, they were trying to rape me.

I watched as all the other kids, ten or more, walked quietly away.  The three boys, Danny, Mark and Pete, laid me down on an open old sleeper sofa, with just the springs exposed.  Some of the kids had dragged it back there so they would have something to sit on while they ate lunch.   Danny climbed on top of me and Pete and Mark each held, well actually pulled, on my arms like a rope.  I knew I was in trouble.   I was pulled spread eagle by the two boys and had another boy sitting over my hips.  I didn’t have much to fight with but when I realized what they were doing I was so angry that my fight reflexes kicked in and I began fighting back, bucking over and over again, while swearing, fuck you, you piece of crap,  you god dam mother fuckers and screaming at them.  I told them I was going to kill them.   The whole time Danny was busy removing my top and bra, I never stopped fighting and swearing.  Then he tried to take off my jeans.

I was so furious, that Danny finally tired of all the fighting, as well as his inability to unbutton my jeans, so he climbed off of me saying, “It’s someone else’s turn.”  I was wearing three inch wooden healed clogs at the time and when Danny got up, I whipped my leg over my head and kicked Mark in the head.  He dropped my arm and said, “I think I hear someone coming.”   And they all ran away.

I was left there alone and shocked.  I buttoned my blouse and went out to face the kids who had knowingly left me there to be raped.  I saw one “friend”  and just looked at him and said, “thanks a lot!”   Then I walked back to my school, afraid, humiliated and shocked that the world was so awful.  I played the scene over and over in my head and couldn’t believe what had just happened to me, in broad daylight, with all those people around.

I called my mom to pick me up after school because I wouldn’t get on the bus.  I didn’t tell her why until I got home.

That night my dad and my brother went to each boy’s house and told them individually, in front of their sobbing mothers, that if they ever touched me again they would kill them.

What I learned that day:   I learned that I could NEVER EVER count on anyone to help or save me.  EVER!!!!!   That I was not safe, and never would be!  That no female/woman was safe. That I was on my own and would always be the only one I could count on.

I was happy that I fought back.  Women never know how they will respond to the awful things men do to them.  I was relieved to know I fought and I felt stronger because I did. I had not been raped by those fucking bastards. I had saved myself.  But I know that each horrifying circumstance is different.

And it is NEVER the woman’s fault, NOT EVER, no matter how many morons tell you it is.  And friends and strangers will try to put the blame on you,  just like they did with me.

I did absolutely nothing to encourage them to do that to me.

What a messed up world this is.  Many of my friends kid themselves and believe that they are safe, but I never do.  Any man can turn on you at any time, no matter who they are, no matter how long you’ve know them, at work, in a hall, at night or in broad daylight.  It could be your boss, your uncle, your best friend’s dad, a boyfriend or a stranger.  And everyone will blame the girl or woman, no matter what her age.

Males in our country take away girls and woman’s sense of safety and security every minute of every day.  But males write, interpret and enforce the laws and they like to abuse women and children, so little to nothing is done about the atrocities that take place. And until OTHER MALES hold the rapists, wife beaters and child abusers  accountable for what they do,  nothing will ever change.  So I implore the men out there to stand up for the girls and women they know and love.  And to stand up for the millions of other females you don’t know.  Take a stand, talk about it, with your friends and sons, work to get the laws changed so that RAPE and  the ABUSE of WOMEN and CHILDREN BECOME CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY,  because that’s exactly what they are.

The boys who did that to me are adults now.  Some of them have daughters.  I wonder how they would feel if someone did that to their girls.

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war is hell but…

what some people never think about is that females live in a war zone for their entire lives and the war NEVER ends.  There is no place for females to “return to,” no going “home.”  Home is sometimes the worst hell of all.   It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live or what you have, it only matters that you are female.

I was talking to a vet at the WALL in DC.  I said that if they made a WALL for women who had been killed by men, or women and children who had been tortured, raped  and abused by men, or women and children who had been beaten by men, the wall would never end and you would need artists working 24/7/365  in order to keep adding new names, because the names to be added would never end.

Culture is set up to keep women poor, in charge of and responsible for children, parents, and others.  Women across the world are taught to be polite, to make others feel better and to not fight back, sometimes under threat of legal action.  Women have had their feet bound, their bodies mutilated,  their spirits broken.  We dress in tight clothing and high heels so we can’t run, which makes us easier prey.  We are hobbled in the work place and are not allowed or able to make as much money as we are worth and that leads to dependency, especially when children are involved.

Females, no matter what their age, are blamed for the violence that is done to them, even if they are children because the laws were written to protect men.  Women often feel safer when they are with a man because HE is a warning to other MEN to stay away.

Men can never understand what it’s like to live your life wondering if you should go out, if you should get into the elevator with the man who is already in there, to go to a movie alone…to do anything alone.  Most women don’t even realize that they automatically think of the things around them, as they go through their day, because it’s something they do naturally.

Babies,  toddlers, girls and women are raped on a daily basis by their fathers, step-fathers, their mother’s boyfriends, their brothers and his friends, the neighbors, their teachers, religious leaders, strangers and relatives.  THERE IS NO SAFE PLACE FOR FEMALES!

I was called for jury duty.  A woman had been raped in the bathroom of a building in downtown Chicago.  The female judge asked the prospective jurors if they, or anyone they knew, had been raped.  Every single person raised their hand.  She went through the crowd and asked who had been raped.  After she was finished, she started talking again and, even now my heart is pounding and I’m furious because she NEVER ASKED IF ANY OF THE PEOPLE IN THE CROWD HAD RAPED ANYONE.  Women are raped in stairwells and bathrooms.  Those are two places you never want to get caught alone…ever.   Women are rapped and killed everywhere. There are so many things I could say, so many horror stories to tell.

Females live in a war zone and never forget that.  Never.  And the enemy is everywhere.  And if any men are reading this and saying to themselves, “I would never do that,” well just remember this:  we can’t tell the difference between the good guys and the bad guys and the good guys don’t seem to be doing anything about the bad guys, so everyone is suspect.   The bad guy could turn out to be someone a woman has known for a long time and just decided to attack her.  Because that’s really what it’s all about…a decision.  A man has to decide to be evil…to destroy a child’s innocence, a life.  And that’s what rape and abuse is…the TAKING OF A LIFE.  So next time you see the Viet Nam wall think of the women and children who live in the war zone that you guys call everyday life.

hitandrun1964

See Original

Why?

why
is
the
suffering
of
females
seen
as
culturally
unimportant

why
is
violence
against
females
considered
to
be
their
OWN
fault

why
are
males
ALLOWED
to
constantly
rape
beat
and
kill
females

why
are
women
forced
to
live
their
entire
lives
in
a
war
zone
where
the
enemy
is
everywhere

why
do
women’s
movements
have
to
be
restricted
for
their
own
safety

America
is
not
the
Home
of
the
Free

not
if
you’re
females

it’s
a
prison
with
invisible
bars

 

by hitandrun1964

Okay so…

I’ve been thinking about the weekend shootings in Chicago. People get shot in Chicago. People get upset when there are shootings or stabbings or murders. Justifiably so. It’s a horrible and unacceptable occurrence. It’s wrong and no one should have to live under those conditions.

However, women are raped, beaten and murdered EVERY SINGLE DAY. A woman is raped approximately every 2 minutes…beaten as often. Women are tortured, kidnapped, and murdered everyday. So, a few people getting shot over a weekend and a couple of people dying doesn’t seem like such a terrible statistic. The people in charge of the statistics say that rape is mostly unreported. So these stats are just the tip of the iceberg.

If we had a wall for beaten, raped, abused women, like the one for Viet Nam vets, sculptors would have to work on it 24 hours a day and it would never end.

Yes, I’m jaded. Yes, I’m sick of women living in a war zone every minute of their lives, from the moment they are born.

You may think you don’t know anyone who has been raped or who has been, or is currently being beaten. More than likely you are wrong. Women don’t talk about it. They don’t tell. I was at dinner with friends. We were talking about this and one of the guys said that I was crazy because if one out of three women were being beaten then someone at our table was being abused. It was his sister. She just sat there. So did her husband, the man who was beating her and causing her to run outside in the middle of the night with their kids and drive to the police station. The guy who cut up her clothes and put them in the sink, the guy who wouldn’t let her out of the garage so she could go to work. The women knew. Her brother did not.

The judge asked those of us who were being screened for jury duty if we had been raped or if any of us, men included, knew of a women who had been raped. Every single person raised their hand. She went through the crowd asking who. Most people answered with multiple names. She never asked the men if they had raped anyone. I guess that was a touchy subject.

So in the scheme of things, a few people getting shot would only last about 1/2 hour compared to women being violated every 2 minutes, 24 hours a day. Girls who are raped sometimes kill themselves. Nothing happens to the boys. They live. Women are blamed for what happens to them. At least when people get shot, it’s more of a random thing and usually not based on gender. The shooters are having fun, hunting or getting into a gang. Women are prey…we’re always being hunted. Older women are raped in cemeteries, cleaning women in churches. No place to hide, no place to run, no place that’s safe. The jury was for a woman who had been raped in a public bathroom, in one of the buildings downtown. The case was actually about whether or not the people who owned the building were responsible. We could put guards everywhere but sometimes the guards are the people we have to watch out for. Bathrooms are dangerous places. There was a teacher in one of our high schools who molested the mentally challenged kids. When people started to notice, they transferred him to a different school. Just like the priests being transferred to a different parish.

Newborns are brought to ERs torn up because males try to have sex with them. Some have STDs in their mouth. So…a few people getting shot…yeah, it’s too bad. But we have much bigger problems that the population and people in power don’t seem to care about. EVER. More girls commit suicide from rape than the number of people who got shot this weekend.

People don’t like to think about this stuff. So they don’t. Some pedophiles are released from jail and grab a kid right away. Many of the people on blogs have been abused, boys and girls. There is no excuse. None. I could tell you story after horrible story but a lot of people just don’t want to believe things are this bad…but they are. Terrified women huddle in shelters with their kids, worried that the guy will find them or go after their parents or friends if they can’t. Hard to ignore this stuff, once you know about it. It kind of amazes me that this isn’t on the news EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Oh wait, yeah, a lot of the people who are watching the news would be on it, if anyone actually cared.

I am not an organ donor. When a young girl killed herself, after being raped and the boy bragged about it on the internet, I thought, what if I had kept that horrible kid alive with one of my organs? What if a violent male gets to see or live, because of me? I can’t do it. It goes for violent women as well. I can’t take that chance. So I have a note stuck to my drivers license saying, NOT AN ORGAN DONOR. The girl was beautiful and so very young. The boy is probably living his life and not even thinking about what he did. One of the guys who tried to rape my daughter, told one of her friends that he didn’t remember doing it, when she asked him about it. So that’s nice…FOR HIM. We all remember it. We remember when my husband and son when to the house of each of the 4 boys who held our daughter down and tore her clothes and crawled on top of her and told the boys, and their mothers, that if they looked at our daughter again, or said a single word to her, they would kill them. The mothers were hysterical, sobbing. The boys left her alone after that. She went to school with those kids. They were eating lunch together at the little place across from the school. She fought them off and got away but we remember, even if the boys don’t. And yes, we did go to the police. They told us to have our son bet the kids up. So we took Tae Kwon Do classes and the Master taught her how to kill the next person who tried anything. We live in a very good neighborhood. The boys were her friends. Apparently they forgot that as well.

Hey, I’m just sayin’.

 

See Original

to hit…

to
slap
to
punch
to
beat
to
rape
to
frighten
to
bully
to
force
to
hold
prisoner
to
torture
to
take
away
the
will
of
another
to
hold
hostage
to
threaten
verbally
or
physically
or
with
a
weapon
to
degrade
to
humiliate
to
shame
to
blame
to
take
away
a
child’s
innocence
to
violate
to
silence
another’s
voice
to
KILL

ALL
OF
THESE
THINGS
ARE
CHOICES

VIOLENCE IS ALWAYS A CHOICE…VIOLENCE IS ALWAYS A CHOICE

in
order
to
stop
violence
against
women
and
children

abusers
simply
have
to
STOP
making
those
choices

VIOLENCE IS A CHOICE…ALWAYS

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Rethinking Life